Katerpillar Soup

And then she dies.

I spent my life terrified of the void. Resistant to what I would become if I allowed myself to fully be nothing. You see I have always had a deep yearning for control that came pre-packaged with birth into human form. A desire to know exactly how and when things will work out. A need to manipulate and coerce the wonder of nature to meet my subjective will.

God has indulged here and there. Providing the life of my dreams. Granting my wishes with ease and abundance. But you see the problem with MY dreams is that they are limited. The magic that exists around ever corner is more profound than the human form can possibly imagine. Understanding this has lead back to a favorite mantra "Not MY, but THY will oh Lord." I in this body, I in this thought, I in this dream am only a tiny fractal of the greater whole.

And then she dies.

I am learning to love to void. To embrace the unknown and the feeling of freedom. When I release the need for control, and drop into presence, time seems to perpetually stop ticking. I can clearly see what the next aligned step is. But I have to take them one at a time. To check in at every moment.

The heart does not race. The heart does not plan. The heart does not manipulate. The heart rests in the awareness of now.

My particles are rearranging at quantum speed as I prepare to travel in the physical realm once again. It has been two years of sitting still. Two years since my last exploration of unknown lands. Two years of grounding, growing, and building. But the universe has called me back to the road. I have no idea who I will be during this trip. I have no plan. No time frame. Not a clue as to where the wild will guide. But I know that it is time to take Happy HeARTists on the road. To inspire joy and love through creative play as I allow the wondrous world to inspire me.

And then she dies.

I am the void. Constantly dying in order to be reborn in every moment and every breathe.